Dear Wayne,
I’ve been dating this girl for about two years. Things are pretty good. She’s been talking about marriage. It’s just that the sex has gotten a little stale. It pisses me off that she doesn’t initiate. Seems like, more and more, I’d rather work later or make plans with my buddies than hang with her. It’s messed up. How do I turn this around?
Signed,
Stuck
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Dear Stuck,
First of all, I like hearing you ask how you can turn this around. The fact is, if she’s a good woman and you love her, you can absolutely turn this around. First, silence the little boy.
It’s the most important BetterMen Tool. That little guy is running the show when you get pissed off when she doesn’t initiate sex. He’s screaming in your head, “Hey, how come you’re not reading my mind? Isn’t it obvious I want sex!?” Well, maybe not. Once you recognize how the little boy in you is sabotaging your long-term committed relationship, you’re ready to move on to step number two: run the sex and romance departments.
It’s your job to romance her, to make her feel like a goddess, to remind her as often as possible how damn lucky you are to have her in your life. When you love her like that, and do the things that mean a lot to her (different for all women), she’ll be much more available to you in so many ways, including beneath the sheets. But listen, if you’ve done your job and she’s not giving you the sign (or you’re too afraid of rejection to pay attention), make the move yourself. Remember, she wants a man in her bed, not a little boy. Now get back off the bench and back in the game, son!
