There is one question that can help you determine whether, in any given moment, you’re being the father, husband, son, brother, friend, co-worker, boss or mentor you want to be. Am I being the best man I can be?
When you’re in the middle of a senseless argument with your wife, ask yourself, “Am I being the best husband I can be right now?” When you’re inappropriately angry with your kids for doing just what kids do, ask yourself, “Am I being the best dad I can be right now?” When you see a friend in pain but you’re too uncomfortable to “get involved,” ask yourself, “Am I being the best friend I can be right now?”
If you have the courage, in those moments, to reflect on your feelings, actions or reactions, you have the courage to make significant changes in your life. Despite how you may feel about yourself at your worst moments, you’re probably a good man. And you know the same is true for your buddies, despite what they may tend to tell themselves at their worst moments.
We’re all doing our best, we all have obstacles in our way, and we all can benefit from a little help. Most men, despite what you may believe, struggle with the same challenges as you. But they’ll usually never let you know about it. Why should they? Why should they trust you, or any other man, for that matter? Unfortunately, that’s the hostile environment men find themselves in these days.
But if we allow that trust to grow with other good men, we can change that hostile environment for ourselves and for everyone in our lives. You need men whom you can trust and who can trust you to be there and to be supportive. The fathering we get from these men is something we can never get from women, even from the most loving and giving of women.
Think for a moment about the men in your life, friends, family, co-workers. Have you watched as they’ve fallen deeper and deeper into trouble, debt, depression, fear, anxiety, addiction, or some other self-destructive behavior? Have you reached out to them? Have you found yourself feeling helpless to help them, their wives, or their children?
You’re not helpless. In fact, you have power far beyond your imagination. Offer your support. Share your story and your honest concern with them. Have the courage to risk your relationship with them if it means, potentially, saving their relationships or even their lives. Tell them that you care. Tell them there’s support available, and that they’re not alone.
Be brave and take a risk with the men in your life. It just might make all the difference in their world…and yours!
