Do Men Have Commitment Issues?

January 10, 2002

You better believe it. But I’m not talking about the “commitment issues” many women refer to, i.e., men won’t commit to a relationship with them. I’m talking about a far more fundamental commitment.

To be the men we want to be—more patient and compassionate as a father, mastering our emotions, especially our anger, or not procrastinating with our business success—we have to take action. The difficulty is that there are obstacles—mostly imagined—that keep us from taking those actions. We remain stuck. The way to get unstuck is to make commitments.

But who holds us accountable to the commitments we make? If any of you have made New Year’s resolutions, you know that we’re usually never held accountable. Why? Because we made the resolution to ourselves, and there’s no one but us to be accountable to. That’s why we need the men.

When we make commitments and ask the men we trust to hold us accountable, we are far more likely to see our actions through. We may not succeed on our first try, but when we know we have to face the men—and face the truth—we know we can no longer hide out. And that’s a good thing.

When the men hold us accountable, we have the opportunity to learn, to recommit if necessary, and to successfully change out behaviors, attitudes, and perspectives.

So yes, we men do have commitment issues. But once we learn to trust the men and ask them for help, we overcome those issues. Give it a shot, and then perhaps some of you will be ready to make yet another commitment…this time to her.

Wayne Levine
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