couples coaching

One of my favorite characteristics of Wayne is that he speaks direct and tells you how it is without beating around the bush. He keeps it honest all the time. He is trustworthy, genuine, always engaged, and has a strong, yet soothing presence that makes it easy and comfortable to talk about anything.

While I quickly formed a bond with Wayne, when I decided to invite my wife to participate in couples coaching, I was concerned that she would not connect with him as I did. This concern was void after the first meeting. Lindsay quickly grew to respect Wayne’s experience and understanding of the matters at hand, his simple but effective communication techniques, and his balanced approach to tackling problems. In addition, Wayne’s charisma and great sense of humor really creates a light-hearted and relaxing environment that makes it easy to put everything out on the table. I was pleasantly surprised to see my wife open up the way she did with Wayne.

Wayne has a unique way of deciphering and dissecting underlying problems that makes sense to both of us. Through Wayne’s help and guidance, Lindsay and I were able to start communicating about our most difficult and sensitive problems with feelings of compassion and understanding, instead of resentment and frustration. After each session with Wayne, we walk away smiling with feelings of accomplishment and progression.

Although there is a lot more work to be done, Wayne has provided us with tools and techniques to manage and overcome our issues and a foundation to strengthen our relationship. We are so appreciative of what Wayne has done for us both individually and for our relationship. He is more than just a counselor and coach; he is a friend.

But it wasn’t until we began couples coaching that we finally felt we were making significant progress towards improving our marriage. Wayne was able to hit the nail on the head, calling me on my stuff. AND, oh so gracefully, calling my wife on her stuff, as well. She listened, and I listened, and now we are both listening. It’s truly amazing how I used to think I was listening. The truth is, I had drawn my conclusions without giving 100% attention to her feelings and desires.

Now that we are being “couple coached,” it finally feels that we are on a path to creating and maintaining a happy and healthy relationship.

I have learned the importance of having male mentors. The ability to go and be authentic with men you trust is a peaceful place to be. My commitment to coaching has made it possible for me to grow emotionally and really look at myself.

These changes did make it hard on my wife. She did not know what to do with me. So last year we started couples work with Wayne over the phone. It was unbelievable. When Wayne taught us how to slow down and listen, we actually covered some key ground in our relationship. I must say my wife really responds well when I am being the man I need to be.

I was up to my old tricks of doubting my wife’s devotion. Instead of repeating old mistakes, I got us into Wayne’s office right away.

We spent some time really learning how to listen and to make sure each other felt truly heard. It took a lot of the pressure off and broke things down to a simple level that we knew we could handle. And it didn’t take twenty years of therapy to get there!

Married seven years with three little children, I felt scared. I knew I was on the verge of losing my family if something didn’t change. The biggest challenge was ME and the second biggest was ME. With Wayne’s guidance, I learned so much about core issues from my past and present that prevented me from being the man I wanted to be. His disarming approach made it that much easier for my wife to jump on board. It was the change we desperately needed.

The first teleconference was a WOW! Wayne has a style, technique and innate wisdom that put us both at ease within seconds. His humor helped us lighten up and feel hopeful for the first time in a long, long while. It was such a welcome departure from traditional therapy, which we had experienced with little success. Too often, my wife, who is a great communicator, would be so engaging that I would sit silently and feel like a boy sitting in the principal’s office. Without blame, it just wasn’t a setting that I felt comfortable participating in. I knew after our first session with Wayne that the floor was open for both me and my wife to honestly and openly communicate.

Wayne understands men, he understands relationships, and he really understands the roadblocks that lead to conflict.

Still taped to our bulletin board is a phrase of great encouragement that Wayne shared during our first meeting…“There is a love affair in our home.” It was so clear that he wanted us to succeed. The best part was that there was an end in sight. Not to our marriage, but an end to the pain and confusion that plagued us both. His humor, compassion, insight and dedication to the work proved the perfect combination to get our marriage on track. I have learned so much about commitment, honor, love and loyalty and I can see my wife blossoming into the precious bride I married. We work on our marriage daily with the help of Wayne’s book “Hold On to Your N.U.T.s,” and through spending quality time listening to each other without criticizing, judging or condemning. We continue to grow with more gentleness and love than ever before and are thrilled to live this example for our children to witness. A million thanks Wayne for giving us hope during a dark time.

While we are still continuing the work, we both find that Wayne has the compassion and insight to help couples to reconnect the dots to finding a path forward, rather than being stuck in the past.