This guy’s not getting any respect.

March 11, 2014

Dear Wayne,

I feel very weak as a man. I have my own business but my employees do not seem to respect me. Things at home are not much better. My children do not respect me and I am not certain my wife does. My employees and my family should appreciate me and respect me for what I do. How can I convince them to behave differently?




Dear Disrespected,

How can others respect a man who clearly does not respect himself? What kind of a role model are you for your employees and, more importantly, your children? Chances are, you wife has little respect for you as well. So, what’s this weak man to do?

It’s time to develop your N.U.T.s—your non-negotiable, unalterable terms. These are the things that a man is committed to, what defines you as a man. I recommend that you pick up a copy of my book, Hold On to Your N.U.T.s:—The Relationship Manual for Men, and start working on becoming that stronger and more self-confident man, employer, husband and father.

When a man is without N.U.T.s, he’s full of doubt and fear. It’s the doubt and fear that translates into low self-esteem. Once you get the support you need to realize that you have every reason to respect and honor yourself for who you are and what you’ve accomplished, you will soon see that respect reflected in the eyes and behaviors of those closest to you. It’s not about convincing them. It’s about being that better man and earning their respect.

But all of this won’t happen over night and it won’t happen unless you receive the support of men who understand your challenge. Find a coach or a men’s group and get into action. Once you make commitments to be that stronger man and are held accountable to those commitments, you’ll begin to see and feel a real and strong difference.