What Are You Up Against?

October 20, 2017

You bring your marriage into your divorce. What I mean by that is, whatever was happening in your marriage between the two of you, whatever dysfunction existed, is going to show up in your divorce. It would be naive to assume that your interactions while divorcing will be healthier or easier than they have been in the past.

If she felt you were a bully in the marriage, she is coming into this process believing that she is dealing with a bully. If she felt you weren’t a good listener, if you were angry, if you didn’t care, whatever it was, it’s exactly how she’ll come to the table.

And the same goes for you. If you’ve been resenting her, feeling hurt or betrayed by her, you’ll be bringing in those emotions to your mediation or litigation.

And that’s what you’re up against.

That’s why it’s very helpful to take a look at your emotional state and the state of your relationship. The better you understand it all, the better you’ll be able to react effectively over the course of the next few challenging months.