How Do You Know When You’re Making Progress?

March 11, 2014

This question comes up all the time in our individual and group coaching sessions. It takes great commitment for men to make changes in their lives to become BetterMen. After all that hard work, men want to see something big happen—some remarkable and unmistakable sign from above—to assure them that they’re on the right track.
Unfortunately, it usually doesn’t work that way. Sure, there are times when men approach situations or relationships differently and are amazed by the sudden, dramatic and positive results. But the more significant moments are the ones that sort of sneak up on men. They’re the instances when a man quietly realizes that what might have been an argument with his wife, just passed right by without notice. Or, those moments when a man realizes that what was once a distracting and debilitating addiction, is now a mere manageable inconvenience. And there are those moments when a man looks ahead and—because he’s learned enough about what he used to do to be part of the problem—can successfully plan a weekend away so it’s a wonderful time for him and the woman he loves.
When we gather in our men’s groups we talk about these moments. We can look at these moments because a facilitator is slowing down or stopping the conversation long enough to appreciate them. And they really do need to be pointed out. Most of the time, they can be glanced over so easily, we’re not aware that we’ve actually made great progress in becoming the men we want to be.
So, men out there, slow down a bit. If you’ve made a commitment to become a better man, how are you doing? Are you aware of the positive changes in your life and in your relationships? Are you moving so quickly through life that you’re missing those priceless moments?
The great thing about the men is that they’ll kick you’re ass when you need it, but they’ll also let you know when you’ve done a good job. That’s how you know when you’re making progress.