In my book Hold On to Your N.U.T.s—The Relationship Manual for Men there are eight BetterMen Tools. And the first one, and usually the most painful one for men to read about, is silencing the little boy.
Silencing the little boy is one of the most difficult things we as men have to do. As kids, we have experiences, some very traumatic, that remain unattended to as we get older. We become teenagers, then we’re in our 20s and, eventually, we choose a partner. Our lives change, but what remains the same is that wounded little boy in us who wants what he wants when he wants it, or he wants her to read his mind, or he’s stomping his feet through life because he’s not happy about what he’s getting.
In this process of divorce, it’s really easy to stomp your feet. It’s really easy to get so aggravated, I mean really aggravated, enraged even, because of what you have to deal with. In order to not create more problems for yourself, it’s essential to silence the little boy.
One of the things that we would be talking about, if we worked together, is just what silencing that little boy means for you. You’ll want to pay more attention to being the grown-up, the man you want to be, so that you can navigate your way through this process in a way that you’ll be proud of.