BetterMen Tool No.6 is Don’t Argue. That’s right. It’s simple. Don’t Argue. Have you ever noticed that, in an argument with your partner, when you lose you lose and when you win you lose? Because all that arguing does is chip away at the core of your relationship. It really chips away at the intimacy you two could have between you.
You’re usually arguing not about what’s actually happening in the moment, but something that’s happened in your past. And you’re not aware of it because we really go unconscious when this dynamic begins. Either we want to be right, or we hear an angry parent yelling at us, attacking us, and you feel the need to defend yourself.
It’s so important to get conscious in these moments, so that you can listen more and not defend. What you’re usually hearing from your partner is how she feels, and oftentimes how she feels makes you feel uncomfortable, so you try to change her mind.
There’s a lot to learn here. But start thinking about what it would mean to not argue, and see where it goes from there. I think you’ll discover quite a bit.
