How much time should you spend with your wife? What a strange question, don’t you think? I mean, she’s your wife. You chose to marry her, right? So then, what’s the problem?
Well, depending on who you are and who you’ve been in your relationship, the problem can be any number of things. For instance:
- You would rather work than spend time with your wife
- You’re a workaholic husband
- Your wife doesn’t want to spend time with you
- You spend more time with your friends than with your wife
- You argue more than you enjoy yourselves when you’re together
- You have one foot out of the marriage.
This is actually a list of symptoms or consequences of the reality that your relationship is in serious trouble. So if you want to turn things around, you might want to start asking yourself much more essential questions, other than: how much time should I spend with my wife?
Important Questions to Ask Men Who Are Workaholics
Some of the questions you’ll want to ask yourself are:
- How do I really feel about my wife?
- What is making me feel unhappy, frustrated, sad, or depressed?
- Am I blaming my wife for my own unhappiness?
- How have I been showing up as a husband, and what can I do to reconnect with my wife?
- Am I a workaholic because I’m terrified about not providing well for my family?
- Am I just hiding out at work or with friends to avoid facing my marital issues?
Some suggestions for getting answers to these questions include:
- Working with a life coach who can help you dig into your past and connect the dots so you can appreciate how your earlier experiences have shaped you and your current, unhealthy behaviors.
- Reading books, watching YouTube videos, listening to podcasts, and having conversations with friends about relationship issues. The more energy and time you devote to understanding relationships and, more importantly, you in relationships, the more successful you will be in making the changes necessary to have a healthier marriage.
When men get clarity around some of these important questions, men who are workaholics will have made great progress in understanding what’s motivating their workaholic behavior. At that point, it’ll be time to take action to change so that you can be the man, husband, and father you want to be.
Here Are A Few Tips for Spending Time with Your Wife:
- Read my book Hold On to Your N.U.T.s—The Relationship Manual for Men. The book is a great place to start, not only to understand where some of your behaviors are coming from, but throughout the book are tips on very specific things that you can do to become a better listener, to not argue, to express yourself, and to run the sex and romance departments. Improving all of these skills will make it easier for you to get through your relationship struggles, to enjoy your time with your wife, and to be the man she wants to spend time with.
- Reveal yourself. One of the biggest complaints women have about their husbands is that they don’t share their feelings. Not truly knowing about the inner workings of their men will push women away, especially if they try repeatedly by asking and get repeatedly denied. If you work with a life coach or therapist, you’ll learn to open up a bit more. And the more you practice with your wife, the closer you’ll become and the more enjoyable it’ll be to spend time with her.
- Be creative. Although it may have been quite a few years, think back to the time when you were dating and doing everything possible to win her over. You have to keep doing those things. It’s a common trap for men to get complacent over time. She still wants to feel special, like your queen, like someone you’re still really into. So do a little research and find events she’d love, places to take her for the weekend, and little acts of kindness that she would really appreciate. Everything you do is foreplay. Remember that. As mentioned above, it’s your job to run the sex and romance departments, and that includes being conscious and creative, and caring about your woman
Hopefully, these tips to spend quality time with your wife as a workaholic man will help steer you in a positive direction. There’s obviously much more to learn and practice to be the best husband you can be. Most men can benefit from the support of an experienced guide who can coach them through this rewarding journey to become a better man and husband. It’s a journey well worth taking.
If you’re ready, you can book a 1-on-1 free consultation for 15 minutes, so we can discuss ways you can be the best man possible for yourself and, ultimately, the self-aware, compassionate, and attentive man your wife is waiting for.
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